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Thursday, July 2, 2015

Are bald men attractive?

I have a fried. Her name is Monica. She is beautiful, little cocky, very intelligent, athletic and very pleasant to be around. She really is a guys dream come truth. She is my fried and we were having a coffee the other day when she told me how wrong she was. Let me explain. You are going to like this my fellow bald and potentially very attractive friend.

So, about a year and a half earlier, Monica said to her other fried, also my friend, also pretty hot, that she is not attracted to bald guys at all. She sort of made a pretty big deal out of it.

So eventually it got to me too, in sort of a funny way. And it made me think a little. And I had a thought that Monica is going to find and date a bald guy. It just crossed my mind that time. Monica just got out of a bad relationship about a 1/2 a year ago and she was searching for a new partner. She was ready. And all this talk about how she is not attracted to bald men made me really think, that she will find a bald guy who she is really attracted to.

So, there I was thinking. It would be funny and great at the same time, if she really found a new guy which is bald. I already knew, that this is possible, because people don’t really know what they are saying in these situations. And Monica clearly stated that she is not attracted to bald guys at all! Boy, she was wrong!

Now, sitting in the coffee shop with her and her telling me how she is incredibly attracted to her new boy Adam. Adam is a guy in early fourtyies, completely bald, hear cut short, very fit, tennis player and ice hockey player as his hobbies. He has just some regular government job, nothing special. But he lives intensively. I met him. He could be our role model here on Bald Attraction. But let’s that keep myself  for now. Ha, Ha, Ha. See, I don’t lack self confidence

So, let me get to the point here. Even those people that say, that they are not attracted to bald people don’t really know what they are saying. They simply don’t know! Nobody knows. But I know one thing. If Adam, the recent Monica’s boyfriend was out of shape, boring, uninteresting and so on, I don’t care how much hair and how beautiful they were, she would not be attracted to him!

So the point here is, that it’s really not about the bald head. It’s about the bold actions and the way bald man lives, takes care of himself, is confident, fit, healthy, intelligent and fun to be around. It’s all about these beautiful things we all can achieve.

And if a bald guy manages to pull these traits off. Oh my, he will become the most attractive man in the world! I wrote about it before. Overcoming certain set backs, in our case early balding, is very, very, very attractive on top of other things. So don’t give up here my bald and potentially very attractive man. You really, really can become very attractive. It takes work, but it’s worth it!

Boris says

I understand what you’re saying: that being bald has little to do with the attractiveness if a man who is confident and interesting, and that we do not have to be hindered in dating women. I am working on myself and this website has given me a lot of hope and motivation and I thank you infinitely for this.

What I was saying is that because I don’t have great confidence right now, every time I see an unattractive or old bald man in real life (which is most of them), I just die a little bit inside. I understand that other people don’t care so much about this but I do for some reason. By identifying as a bald man, I feel related to ALL bald men, not just the few attractive ones.

I guess that the only real solution to this is to keep developing myself, but if you have some thoughts on how to handle this confidence leak that would be great. How can we attractive bald men separate ourselves from unattractive bald men who unfortunately outnumber us by a lot?

Milan says

Boris, what a great question! I absolutely agree that bald men who gave up on themselves outnumber the bald men who work on themselves, improve a little everyday, keep fighting and become attractive bald men. Isn’t that truth for whole human race? I will answer that question. It is. Those who really, really care and do something about it are minority. And it is rare for a man to do everything right. We humans are by nature comfort seeking creatures. Unfortunately that’s how nature created us. Well, I believe this fact creates incredible opportunity to become attractive, successful, bold, confident man.

Yes it takes a lot of work. And yes it can hurt sometimes. But ultimately it is in our control. And guess why some of us hate our bald heads? Because we feel that just by looking bald, this look we were given by nature we can’t do anything about, other people find unattractive. But these either they are beautiful girls, women, guys who ever are comfort seeking individuals too. So what do you think they are going to be attracted to? The humans who can overcome this issue we share. Like I said before somewhere on my web site. Bald head is like business idea. They don’t mean anything until you act on it. It can become ridiculous and funny thing if brought up to attention without action. A massive action is required.

As Boris is asking, the problem sometimes lies in our confidence. And yes, sometimes our brains play funny games with us. Especially when we are young. Than I think, at least from my experience, that turbulent time passes eventually. But there is a way to fight for bulletproof confidence. And I believe it lies in channeling the energy to a higher cause. You can also call it your goals.

Lets take a simple example. Very simple. Ask yourself a question. Can you do 5 times 20 pull ups in the row? And 100 push ups in the row? Well. if you can, congratulations. You are most likely very fit guy. But if not, there you have it. It’s your goal now. Now you have to create a plan how to get there. And that takes lots of planned effort and consistent application. But it is by any means worthy goal. Your health becomes better, your energy increases, your body composition changes. Now you have part of your energy channeled to a worthy goal.

Now let’s take another different example. Can you pack your bags now and go trowel around the world? Most of us can’t. Why? Because we have a bills to pay and jobs to go to. That’s normal. That’s what people do. But wait a minute? Some people, yes those in early twenties can travel around the world and do whatever the hell they want. Well unless their parents are one of first 100 employees in Google, they had to do something about it. They had to plan and execute. This is not an easy goal to achieve. But it’s achievable. And if enough energy is channeled into this goal it will be achieved. So why do we waist it starring in the mirror and feeling sorry for bald guys around us? My answer to that question is: Waists of energy!

And here is where i finish at confidence. if you are bald guy who is not going to settle for an average and you create goals in your life that are big enough and you organize your life and don’t brake promises with yourself, your confidence will climb every day. Of course you are going to fail. And you’ll fail a lot. But you have a growth mindset and your failures are just another steps to bring you closer to your ultimate goals. It’s a great mental game. And it is a very healthy and rewarding mental game. And of course, you can’t forget to have a lot of fun on the journey too. And little bit of thick skin helps too. Sort of, who cares what you think attitude. Because there will be people on your road that will try to bring you down. Just go around them and never look back.

Boris, I don’t know if this makes any sense to you. It takes some work and some turns until you figure your own path. But I am convinced you are on the right path. It is about constant improvement. But don’t just make it to be an improvement. Make it special. Special for yourself! And have fun on your journey! And watch what happens. You might find yourself taking the whole police officer squat to a bar after you convinced them with your bulletproof confidence, that you don’t deserve speeding ticket  But that’s another story. Thank you again to share this publicly Boris. Milan

Boris says

Hi Milan,

Great response! I see what you are saying: that worrying about baldness to any extent is a waste of emotional energy and needs to be stopped. It takes some mental toughness, but there is really nothing stopping us from being attractive and developing ourselves. I like how you point out the enemy to development is comfort and the importance of developing a goal oriented and growth mindset. Also thank you for the suggestion to travel; I will not be in my early twenties for ever and travelling will make you more interesting, fun and attractive!

I think that baldness would be a much smaller deal if men went bald at random ages, but the fact is that it is strongly associated with old age. Most bald heads you see are on old people, and even if they take amazing care of themselves (which I imagine gets harder the older you grow), it is unlikely that they will look as good as a lazy, thin young man with beautiful hair. This, I feel, is the most demoralizing part of baldness: there is nothing wrong with your health, but this one small but very important part of you appearance is destroyed.

It is like a genetic trait that pops up in older men to ensure they are no longer attractive to women, maybe to force them to be faithful to their wives. Hair is the first thing people notice on you, and being very young with old man dome is just really disturbing.

And being bald is not the same thing as having a shaved head; naturally we should have hair growing out the sides and just be bald on top. If you really loved male patter baldness, why would you hide what it actually looks like by shaving your head? I buzz my head too, but by doing so we inherently admit we do not like how we would naturally look.

I feel like getting bald in my teens stole away my carefree youth. Few teens and young men are instilled with the discipline and mental toughness necessary to get over baldness. The entire message of your site is that if you become exceptional, then baldness will not matter. Isn’t it unfair that a bald man needs to have great mental toughness and strive for perfection where as a man with beautiful hair can get away with a lot more?

I know that I am wasting emotional energy on this, but it is hard to get past. If it wasn’t this site wouldn’t exist. You are giving amazing and very helpful advice, and I feel that you may save me years of sorrow, but I also think you are not addressing the things about being bald that hurt the most. I guess that part of the bald advantage is that we can channel all this pain to push us to try harder and become ultimately more attractive than if we had hair because of the extra effort and development.

Thank you,

Milan says

Boris, again great questions! I understand now what you’re asking. My response kind of seemed like a escape from reality of a young bald man. While I still think that working on yourself is very important in overall attractiveness, let’s dig deeper into your questions.

You mention that baldness has strong association with old age. And yes, I agree that you see much more older guys being bald. You are a man in early 20ties and it’s almost rare to see a guy completelly bald in that age. I am older than you now 37, but I’ve been there. What I can tell you from my now experience is that people actually think I am much younger than I am. They usually guess late twenties to me now. But, you are in your early twenties. And your thirties are still far away. So how did I aproach this problem in my early twenties? I was completelly bald by the age 23 and I don’t want to make that situation easy. No it wasn’t. But somehow in my brain, I really didn’t pay that much attention to it. Yes of course if you asked me if I want a Brat Pit like hair at that age I will take it very happily. I wanted it. For some reason I didn’t find it to be that big of a big deal. And I think that made all the difference in my overall life. I didn’t find myself less attractive than guys with hair. And I think that made difference in my dating life that time too. Maybe I a was just lucky to sort of overlook it. But what I want young bald guys to know is, that it works. I dated some very attractive girls, younger than me and they found bald head attractive. I know it seems like a simplistic answer here. But I wish that for every young bald guy out there. Seriously, it just boils down to this: If you don’t seet it and suffer by it, other people even those very young ones don’t see it either. And if you see it and suffer by it, they’ll smell it form 1000 miles on you. Of course you’ll have those low life’s that will try to bring you down and make fun of you just because of that.

But these situations will hapen in life, and you can not be protected from everything. You won’t be able to protect your young children from it either. Tough times, times of shame and guilt are unavoidable. The only think in our control is how we deal with them. It’s like somebody making fun of me that I have a small dick. And he has bigger one. So now I going to fall into depression just because he said so? No. I am not. I it’s easy to go into that depression though about virtually anything in life.

You mentioned Boris, that when people get older it’s harder to take care of yourself. And that the older bald guys will always look worst than thin guys with beautiful hair. I absolutelly don’t agree with you here. I have a bunch of unatractive thirty something’s skinny guy friends with hair that are absolutelly unatractive. They are struggling to find attractive partners. Their hair is going grey. And there is such a think as skinny fat. The guy with chest in, tiny hands, slouching not a good picture. On another hand fit skinny guy with beautiful hair doesn’t necessarily wins that hot blond girl on tennis court over bald fit guy. That’s her call. And a lot of factors are at play here.

Yes I agree with you here, that when you get older staying fit becomes harder. You won’t have as much energy anymore and there are different priorities in life. But I don’t care how much hair you have on your head, every human being who doesn’t stay fit in later years is going to look unatractive, tired, unappetizing. Fitness is lifestyle that should never end, untill you last breath leaves your lungs. Unfit people in general are unatractive. And here is where the opportunity lies. Just stay fit. Don’t be lazy. It’s good for everybody. Being fit is not coping with baldness. Being and staying fit is hard, attractive thing available to all of us. It’s every bodies duty for good life. But very little people chose to apply it.

You mention that bald head means that small part of your overall appearance is destroyed and that it is a signal to young women that the man is old and unatractive and should be avoided. Maybe you thing that mating of young women with old guys can produce unhealthy children. And that’s probably truth. However I don’t think that is the signal women get. How would you then explain those healthy black athletes with bald heads having increadibly hot girlfriends. And not only them. If you are bald and fit, it actually sends the opposite signal to women. This man is strong, fast, able to defend me and my ofsprings, manly sort of primal message. I am sure you get the picture. So yes, women are very attracted to bald men. So here is where I disagree with you. And I have a lot personal evidence for that even from my early twenties.

You also mentioned Boris that hair is the first thing people notice on you. From my experience, those are your eyes, your fit ass, which also means fit legs, shoulders and athletic chest preferably fit in tight shirt. If you have those, you’re physically attractive. Period.

I agree with you about shaving bald head. Don’t shave. It’s too much work. And I thik it sends wrong signal. 2-5mm short cut is I believe the best for young bald guy.

You also mentioned Boris, that baldness stolled your teen years. And most likely it does that to majority of men. And here I agree with you. Teen years are very, very difficult time for a bald guy. Primarily because every teenager is simply stupid and full of fear of what his environment things about him. And he is channeling his fear attacking other teens, especially those with some imperfections like for example baldness. But my opinion here as a guy who is no longer teenager, is that teen years don’t last very long time. High school was the weirdest period of my life in every aspect of my life. And seriously, those stupid teenagers who are the bullies and make themselves better than others usually with almost 100% certainty turn into Loosers later in life.

Yes Boris, I know you might feel like you didn’t experience your teen yers to the fullest, but you need to look ahead. Time that is gone is gone forever. Look ahead. Past is nothing. Don’t get stuck there. Look ahead. And remember only the good stuff from your past.

Isn’t it unfair that bald man needs to have great mental toughness and strive for perfection where as a man with a beautiful hair can get away with lot more? Without considering perfection, this is actually increadible advantage. Just wait what life is going to throw at you! And not only you, everybody! If you have mental toughness you’ll get through anything while others give up. Work on it! Cultivate it! It’s a great life skill for everybody. And huge advantage and being ahead of everybody for young bald man.

Things about baldness that hurt the most. Yes I know Boris, this is what hurts the most young bald guy. I am bald and everybody around is not. And people find me old and unattractive. And it is not fair! Of course it’s not fair.

What I am trying to show bald guys is that baldness is not the end of life. No you can’t fight baldness. That would be a huge mistake. You’ll never win that war. And it will destroy you if you try. It did literally destroyed men in the past and will destroy many men in the future. Their psyche and the way they live their life’s. I am teaching guys to not enter this war. And the road is pretty clear. You only have actually 1 option – Use your baldness to your advantage. Seriously think about it. There is nothing you can do about it. Or is there a lot you can do about it?

Thank you for your questions Boris!

Boris says

Milan, this is exactly what I was looking for! I have never heard someone directly address the negative aspects of baldness and in a both realistic and positive way! I have read over what you wrote a few times and I will continue to think about it.

Most people trying to give positive advice just say stupid sh!t like “look at Jason Statham and Bruce Willis” as if they are supposed to validate our existence, or “just be confident and it makes no difference!” as if confidence is some mental state you just snap into, not addressing the great amount of work that is required.

When I think about it, no one has ever really cared about my baldness and despite my mostly negative attitude I have still had cute girls be attracted to me without even really talking to them. The negativity is all a trick of the mind. I had taken on the belief that I will never really be attractive as a bald guy and that I will just have to deal with it, but you are showing me that this is actually not true.

It is kind of weird that sometimes men in their thirties will talk to me as if I am their age, but actually that is a big advantage in the professional world. And a sad truth is that a bald guy will inevitably get fewer looks from younger pretty girls, but does a look really mean all that much?

With the right mindset, I am starting to see how being bald is actually an advantage. It can force you to realize what is really important in life, or it can destroy you and make you into a miserable wretch. I believe that having a strong male role model is vital in taking the right path, and you are filling this role that many of us have lacked. Being 6’3 has also helped you be naturally attractive and confident a lot more than you probably realize -_- , but that is what it is I suppose.

I have a lot more thoughts on this and look forward to writing more comments, but it seems that many of the entries say that “Comments are closed.”, and don’t let me post anything.

Much gratitude Milan, you really are one of a kind.

Milan says

Boris, thank you very much for response and all these great thoughts of yours. You are obviously very intelligent man. And you really think deeply about this issue. And I think, that that kind of attitude is required. Because I am certain, you’ll find your own successfull path. And also I am increadibly humbled by you calling me a role model for young going bald guys. I love it. And I am not taking it for granted.

Interesting thing is, that when I was starting Bald Attraction website, there was a lot of head scratching from people I know. You would be surprised how many people were telling me: Milan what are you doing? What’s up with this baldness problem? It’s not a problem? Bald is in Milan! Everybody knows it!

Seriously, people were telling me that being bald is in and what I am doing is worthless piece of work. On one side it really made me happy that a lot of people see it this way. But on the other side I saw the problem. I have a few close friends that are loosing their hair in my age now, which is 37 and they really suffer by it. So, as you can see people have a different wiew on baldness issue. But I decided to help guys who don’t seem to be able to get through it. So that’s why I decided to keep going with it. I believe it can make huge difference on young mans life to be able to embrace it and not fight it.

Thank you Boris for notifying me about that comment issue on my web site. I will fix that hopefully fast! That is unacceptable. I want to be able to communicate and comments below the articles are crucial for that.

Boris, you also mentioned that men in their thirties talk to you like you are someone in their age. If this is truth, it’s going to change. No worries. Just keep fit, eat good diet, care for your healt. And by the time you are 30 something, those in your age with hair will seem much older than you. It’s happening to me quite often now.

So Boris, keep your curious attitude, question everything and reason, and I am sure you’ll find the best answers that work for you the best. I thing you’re on a very good path. I am certain attractive, healthy, bold, successful life lies ahead of you. If I can ask you Boris, what part of world is your home. Your English is great! Milan

Boris says

I am glad you find my thoughts interesting Milan, thank you for the compliments!

I am actually a bit surprised that people do not think that baldness can deeply affect a man’s psyche. It makes sense though, as for the first time in history a shaved or very short hair is socially acceptable, so just because things are better than 20-40 years ago (thank god I wasn’t around back then….) they think that everything is perfect now. You need to walk in someone’s shoes to truly understand their plight.

I think I big part of it is that people generally assume that men only go significantly bald after the age of 30 or even 40, so by then they should not care about what women in their late teens and 20’s think about them. Very young baldness occurs so rarely that I think many people don’t even realize it exists.

Thirty somethings thinking I am their age has only happened a few times, and I am not even sure of it except for once. I am in pretty good shape, thought there is a lot of room for improvement and I do have some bad habits that drain my energy. People my age seem to recognize me as such. I actually get a lot of odd looks from random people, and they sometimes brush their hair when I walk by like they are afraid it will happen to them! I am not bothered though, and I have started to give them an evil eye like I am transferring a curse hahaha. Looking old is actually a very big fear of mine, especially in the future, so it is really good to hear that this does not have to happen!

My family moved from a country in the Balkans to America when I was 2 years old and I have lived here ever since. So I would certainly hope that my English is good!

Happy World Cup Milan!

Milan says

Boris, yes you have European name. I am not that far away from Balkan area from too – Slovakia, born in Czechoslovakia. I moved to US 13 years ago. The best move I have ever done in my life. Not because I didn’t like living in Slovakia, but because it taught me really to take responsibility for my own actions and life. When you are far away from people who you can rely for help, and outpatient care, you have to learn to take care of yourself. Simply the best schooling I’ve ever received. Of course your English is great Boris. I am still working on mine  enjoy the game. Still 0:0?

Boris says

Your English is great, in fact I sometimes wish I had a cool Eastern European accent  It is totally understandable and anyone who complains about it is really just a loser.

Wade says

I must agree with what you are saying, I started losing my hair around 19 and it was the worst experience ever! I hated the person i was becoming, I felt old and ugly and could do nothing to prevent it, worst part was i started believing it too, i did all the usual things cuts and styles, it was hopeless.

I even did the “Hair Replacement System” and if thinning hair wasn’t bad enough the first time, nothing like going bald again to make things even worse! and newsflash EVERYONE can tell.

I have to admit it took a few years for me to start liking the person in the mirror again but once i changed my perception of myself i noticed that i was still getting attention from women i was just too concerned with myself to even notice them before and honestly they don’t care about our hair as much as we do.

Learn to love yourself again and others will be drawn to you.

Wade says

Wade, thank you for your note. You’re certainly on the right track. And most likely, you’re already very attractive bald man. Keep it that way! Milan

Ryan says

Hi Milan, I’m 23 and bald. It has been tough. I have considered hair transplants (not a suitable candidate) and even hair replacement systems! Finally, I came across your videos! You speak the truth. This is the way I need to channel my energy and change my attitude. Inspirational. I can’t thank you enough!

Milan says

Ryan, thank you for your words! I feel honored! I understand the madness that comes with early baldness.

Yet, it’s up to you to surrender to it. And I can already tell, you won’t. Ryan, go rock the world as a bald attractive successful man! And you’re on the right track!

Hair gets credit for only 1% of what makes man attractive and successful. Let’s scratch that!That 1% is luck.

Hair is way too overrated!

The rest is in our power!

Thank you Ryan!

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